How I Lost A Friend Because Of My Former Alpha Gaming Problem

Everyone who’s a former alpha gamer has a painful memory or two. As a former alpha gamer myself, I’ve got plenty. But this piece is about one memory in particular. This is the story of how I lost a friend because of my former alpha gaming problem.

I lost one of my friends due to my former alpha gaming problem because I would constantly be a sore loser whenever he would beat me. We also argued a lot over various things, and one day he got so angry during an argument, he kicked me out, and we haven’t spoken since.

How We Became Friends

I started playing soccer (football anywhere else except the United States) when I was a kid. I played it all the way up through 6th grade. And I did not make the middle school team because, as the coach told my dad, “I was on the bubble.” That was a nice way of saying I wasn’t good enough to make the team because, well, I wasn’t, but at the time, it was also nice to hear. I really did try, but like many problems I had when I was a kid all the way up through my twenties, I was oblivious, ignorant, or a little too lazy. When it came to soccer, I wasn’t a good dribbler and hardly ever practiced, for example.

I did have my moments, though, like going to state with my team, being chosen as the anchor for the shootout team, and coming in clutch (along with our goalie) for our team by scoring goals in two games with shootouts each. We got destroyed in the final match, but we did get silver, and that was awesome.

During my soccer days, I also met a lot of friends. One of them was this friend, who I’ll call Sam.

Our Relationship

To sum up Sam and my relationship in one word, it would be: turbulent. There were times when we got along and times when we didn’t. We stayed what I would call fringe friends for many years, all the way from our days in soccer up through college and beyond. By the way, neither of us made the middle school team. 

In fact, we argued about even that. Not the fact that we didn’t make the team, but how he didn’t make it. To finish off the week-long tryouts, everyone had to do a two-mile jog around the local track. Let’s just say one of us finished way last, and the other one gave up. Let’s also just say I didn’t give up.

We argued about the merits of continuing on in spite of not having a good chance of making the team or just calling it quits. He complained of ankle pain, and I said if he wanted to make the team, he should’ve pushed through. 

Looking back on it now, we were representing each other’s values at the time, comparing the value of giving it your all, even in the face of defeat or knowing when to hang up the gloves, or the cleats, as it were.

These arguments continued throughout the years. One time we were all hanging out on a friend’s dad’s piece of land (this was high school), and we were all sleeping on the second floor. Sam came up the stairs to find a place to sleep and made a ton of noise moving stuff out of the way so he could make himself a spot. I happened to still be awake at the time.

We argued that morning about it. 

Were There Ever Good Times?

Yes, we had good times together. We played lots of video games and Magic: The Gathering, often when a bunch of friends got together. We hung out at the friend’s aforementioned piece of land and so on.

The more I look back on our relationship, though, I do wonder why it’s so hard to think of good times. I know we got along and laughed, but was it that often? Am I only remembering the negative times because that’s what human beings do? Or were there really that many of them?

I’ll never know, and that’s okay. Life will go on, but our friendship won’t, and alpha gaming, along with the contentious nature of our relationship, was the reason why.

How I Lost My Friend Because Of My Former Alpha Gaming Problem

So, one day, Sam and I organized a Magic: The Gathering draft. Now, I have a tendency to think more is better, so I thought, let’s draft a whole bunch of booster packs. We’ll build awesome decks, and it’ll be great. 

We had four other friends coming, and we were all going to Sam’s house. We’d play a little tournament and see who ended up on top. 

Now, if you don’t know, this process was going to take hours, which is not a bad thing if you’re all enjoying yourselves, but it is a bad thing if you have a fragile relationship with someone that could shatter at any moment.

And that night, it did shatter.

The cracks in our relationship started worsening because I was still well into my alpha gamer days, and I was complaining about something…I say something because I can’t remember what it was. I was just being a baby, and that got under Sam’s skin.

Later in the night, as the draft/tournament was over and everyone was leaving, I was gathering my things. Sam and I started arguing about something unrelated, then he exploded into full-on yelling. I immediately calmed down, trying to look innocent, and gathered my things, acting as if everything was normal. I left with him slamming the door behind me. 

That was the last time Sam and I ever spoke.

The Situation Now

Sam and I still have a couple of mutual friends, one in particular. So, I hear about Sam every now and then from that one friend. 

I’d be lying if I said there weren’t days I wished I hadn’t been so calm in those final moments, that I’d screamed back at him. But what would’ve happened? Everything would’ve escalated and only gotten worse, and the loss of our friendship was a long time coming anyway.

However, that doesn’t mean I needed to contribute to it, and it was a big moment in helping me turn around my alpha gaming problem.

One Last Thought 

As I was writing this article, I had the sudden urge to look up Sam on Facebook. He has a unique last name, so he was easy to find. Within moments, I got a peek into his life. He has kids now, lives in another state, and seems to be doing well.

At the very least, even if I can’t think of many happy memories from our time together as friends, I’m at least happy for him now, and that’ll just have to be good enough.

Did You Know?

(Each time you refresh the page you will get a new “Did You Know” fact!)

Did you know there’s a lot that goes into teaching board games? For example, are you familiar with what I call, “little rules?” Even if you are, check out my huge list of strategies to make teaching board games easier here!

Conclusion: How I Lost A Friend Because Of My Former Alpha Gaming Problem

So, that’s the story of how I lost a friend because of my former alpha gaming problem. I’m hopeful that if you’re reading this, you haven’t lost a friend too. Even if you have, it’s never too late to change your ways. I’m living proof of that.

On that note, do you have any painful memories of being an alpha gamer? Let me know in the comments below!

And, as always, keep on gaming, fellow board gamers.