How Do I Know If I’m An Alpha Gamer?

Maybe you’ve been in a situation where somebody has called you an alpha gamer before, or maybe you’re just worried that you’re an alpha gamer. If either of these or other similar situations make you question whether or not you’re an alpha gamer, then this article is for you. So, how do you know if you’re an alpha gamer?

You’re an alpha gamer if you do the following things: trying to take control of the game, trying to win no matter what, and blaming others.

What Is An Alpha Gamer?

I fully support you if you have your own definition of what an alpha gamer is. I always encourage interpreting things differently since it helps all of us to do so. However, I’d like to put forth a definition we can all fall back on about what an alpha gamer is.

So, to my mind, an alpha gamer is someone who consistently tries to control a game, tries to win no matter what, and blames others when things go wrong. An alpha gamer doesn’t have to do all of these things, but they will consistently do one or two.

Diving Into The Definition Of An Alpha Gamer A Little Further

I’m not going to cover every aspect of what makes an alpha gamer an alpha gamer here, but I did want to cover a few aspects of alpha gaming to give you an idea of what to look for in the way you game. 

Let’s start with taking control of the game.

Taking Control

Let’s start by exploring what it means to take control of a game and tell everyone else what to do. What that means is not when you step in every now and then and explain to somebody what a mechanic wants them to do or try to help them make a good choice. No, it’s when you do it frequently or when you feel like you have to do it.

It’s when you dominate the game’s discussion. It’s when you take control to the point where other players feel like they don’t have a lot of control over what happens in the game, especially over their own decisions. 

There is a difference between this and being a leader in a game. Leaders will naturally come about through games such as cooperative games, and that’s okay. But leaders aren’t trying to force anyone to do anything. They’re not even trying to tell anyone what to do. They offer advice when they feel another player wants it, or they may offer help at crucial times, but only then. 

If you feel like you’re being a leader in a game, but you’re making lots of decisions for others (even out of a desire to help them) or giving them lots of help, try dialing it back a bit. In fact, try avoiding doing this unless they ask for it or if they’re just stuck. Every once in a while is okay!

Winning No Matter What

I won’t spend too long on this aspect of alpha gaming because it’s pretty straightforward. If you feel like you have to win a game or will try to win at all costs, even at the expense of other people’s enjoyment of a game, then that’s a huge sign you’re alpha gaming.

Winning is fun and a completely acceptable part of gaming, but it should not affect the experience of others, including your own, if you lose.

Blaming

If things go wrong and you blame others for them, or if you’re hard on yourself for things going wrong, that could be a sign of alpha gaming.

Not everyone will be as good as everyone else at a game. And not every part of a game is going to go your way, even with the best planning possible. That’ just part of gaming, and if you realize that and embrace it, gaming can be even more fun for it. 

But if you don’t, that can lead to you blaming other people or the game itself for things going wrong. That’s not fun, and it may be a sign of alpha gaming.

Another Way To Know You’re An Alpha Gamer

One big way you can tell if you’re an alpha gamer is if people don’t want to play games with you. There could be other reasons for this, of course, but if you notice fewer and fewer people are playing games with you, and you’re doing some of the things mentioned above, then there’s a good chance they’re avoiding you because you alpha game.

I separated this reason out because if people are avoiding you like this and you want to keep playing with them, then it’s time to change. So, how do you do that?

What To Do If You Realize You’re An Alpha Gamer

The first thing to do is to not freak out. Don’t suddenly feel like you have to drop to your knees and profusely apologize to the people you play with. You can and should apologize for alpha gaming, but don’t get caught up in the apology part. Realize that everyone makes mistakes, and the important thing is to change.

The people you play games with will support you if you show an honest effort to change. You can even ask them for help. Say something like, “Hey, if you notice me alpha gaming, please point it out to me.” Then prepare yourself for this to happen, and be okay when it does.

But the most important thing you can do to change yourself from an alpha gamer into a gamer who enjoys playing games and who others enjoy playing games with is to stay aware of what you’re doing when you play games. Notice how often you try to tell others what to do or get upset if you don’t win, then dive into what makes you feel that way.

Are you dealing with insecurities? Are you trying to make others feel good about themselves? When you figure out the answer to this question, you’ll be well on your way to becoming the kind of gamer you and others want you to be.

Did You Know?

(Each time you refresh the page you will get a new “Did You Know” fact!)

Did you know that the biggest board game convention in the world is in Germany? It’s called Internationale Spieltage SPIEL but is usually called Essen Game Fair. It takes place in Essen, Germany, and features over 1,000 exhibitors from lots of countries. It has also regularly had over 100,000, or sometimes over 200,000 people attend.

By comparison, Gen Con, which takes place in Indianapolis, Indiana has only recently climbed over 60,000 and has only neared the 70,000 mark once so far.

Conclusion: How Do I Know If I’m An Alpha Gamer?

Ultimately, alpha gaming doesn’t happen all that often, and if you’re here reading this article, even if you are an alpha gamer, you’re well on your way to not becoming one. After all, seeking help is one of the first steps on the road to turning things around for yourself.

With all that said, did I miss anything for what makes someone an alpha gamer? Let me know in the comments below!

And, as always, keep on gaming, fellow board gamers.